Unpacking Narcissism’s Guises: A Roadmap to Understanding and Recovery (Mental Health for Everyday Warriors) by Riley Ellis
It might surprise you to learn that narcissists come in more flavors than a box of jelly beans (it certainly did me), and none of them are sweet. These people survive on a whole spectrum of “me, me, me,” and whether they’re loud and proud or lowkey and shady, one thing’s for sure: empathy has left the building.
Let’s begin with the overt narcissist. You know this one. They walk in like they own the place, turn every conversation into a TED Talk about themselves, and if they haven’t name-dropped three CEOs and a yacht by lunch, are they even breathing?
Now slide on down the spectrum to the covert narcissist. These guys and gals are slick. They play the humble card like it’s their job, but behind that soft-spoken “Oh, I’m just trying my best” nonsense is a full-blown manipulator.
Both types are playing the same twisted game, but with different playbooks. Overt narcissists are straight-up bullies. They gaslight, criticize, and steamroll you like a bad date with a bulldozer. They’ll say stuff like, “That’s not what happened—you’re just dramatic.” Meanwhile, covert narcissists act like they’re the ones being bullied: “I’m doing my best, but nothing’s ever good enough for you…” Cue the sad violins. You better believe manipulation is their love language.